Howsyoucompete (1)

“A CONTEST?!?!?  What?  Are you mad?”

“No, I’m completely within my faculties.”

“Seriously, why do you want to do such a thing?”

“Because, believe it or not, I like…you know…games.  Competitions.  Puzzles.  That kind of stuff.”

“And what kind of contest would it be, pray tell, you ludicrous person?”

“A contest to guess the theme!”

“What?  What the ayche-ee-double hockey sticks does that mean?”

“Well, in this case, and plainly, since my first post, all of the titles of my blog entries are of a particular theme.  They’re not fully arbitrary.  They come from somewhere.  The challenge, for my dear readers–”

“–Such as myself–”

“Yes, such as yourself–the challenge is to go back through my posts and determine, what, if any, theme there is.  Person, place, thing, animal, vegetable or mineral, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.”

“Well, that should be fairly simple to figure out–”

“Yes, that is the goal, but–”

“And here I type into my search engine, cut paste and post–”

“Aha!  There’s the catch, my friend!”

“Catch?”

“Yes, there is almost always a catch!”

“OK, do tell, what’s the catch?”

“You have to get a pen and paper, and an envelope or post card…”

“I’m listening…”

“And a stamp…”

“Yeah?”

“And you must actually write–”

“WRITE?”

“Yes, with a pen and paper.  Like a weapon of a more civilized age…”

“Jeez…and then what?”

“You’ve got to mail me your answers!”

“Wait, what?  MAIL?  Like, through the postal service?”

“Yes.”

“Mail?  For a blog?”

“Yes.”

“And then I can win?”

“Yes.”

“You’ll send me something?”

“Yes.”

“But I have to go through all of your blog posts titles, figure out the theme and then write it down in a letter and mail it to you through actual snail mail?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Neatness counts.”

“Fine.  Where do I send it?”

“You can mail it to me at:

PO BOX 20245
Long Beach, CA 90801

Be sure to write WRITING TO REACH YOU somewhere on the envelope/post card.  That way I know you’re not just paying attention, but it’s also for the contest.”

“I could actually hear the colon and the spaces when you just said that.”

“Good.  I like to practice my inflection when I read.”

“Right.  Anything else?”

“Indeed!  The first Five (5) people to answer correctly will get a little something mailed back to them.  All subsequent correct answers will get a letter written back to them.  Because, you know…It’s polite.

“OH!  And there is a bonus something for the first person to send me the most ridiculously correct and complete answer!”

“Wait, how will we know that?”

“You’re all smart cookies.  you’ll figure it out.”

“Seriously???”

“Seriously.”

“Riiiight…well, how long do we have to play in your weird little contest?”

“Correspondence should be received no later than July 2nd, 2016.  I’ll announce winners on July 6th.”

“Holy cow!”

“Indeed!  Get crackin’ and good luck!”